BOUNDARIES created for me the freedom to make my own choices. I wanted the power to make my own decisions, yet I had not given a second thought to where I was going to set my boundaries. Another reason I was in the throes of doubt and confusion was because I allowed other people to get too involved in my life, whether I needed them to or not. They seemed to assume that I was incapable of making informed, sensible decisions and, I’m certain with the best of intentions, infiltrated places in my life where I did not want them to be.
Someone always knew best what I needed, what I wanted and what I should be doing. Only now did I stop to think, ‘Whose life is this anyway?’ My lack of boundaries were the mental, emotional and physical constraints that had kept me confined to the ‘box’ mentality I thought was expected of me. Over the years I had become a submissive woman, resentful for not having the freedom to be who I wanted to be. The reality was that I had the choice to put my foot down and I had chosen not to. It was less painful to be complacent and swim with the current instead of against it. It was only when the current had become a tidal wave and I was swimming for my life that I started to fight for my survival. Why did it take me so long to come to my senses? I believe it was a lack of awareness.
AWARENESS is the difference between living your life asleep or awake. Asleep, you are passive, blind, closed-minded, numb. Awake, you are active, watchful, open-minded, communicative. Being aware and alert to yourself and your surroundings gives you intuitive knowledge and more options with which to make better choices.
The way I saw myself was totally different to the way others saw me. The boundaries I had set for myself were far removed from those I had set for others. People can only respect your boundaries if they know you have them. It took me over forty years to get back my personal power. Today I am a fast learner and I learned to be assertive and clear about where I wanted to draw the line and what I would do if the line was crossed. It felt good to be brave and gain trust in my intuition.