It was then I realised I had the ability to instil confidence and help build self-esteem in others. Horses and nature are teachers of great truths, and working with both forces us to confront many issues that are relevant to daily living, whether that be at home with our families, in the classroom or in the business boardroom. I also wanted my clients to realise that an undeniable part of being successful was learning how to accept failure and through my cowgirl lifestyle, I helped them develop what I called the ‘bounce-back’ factor. Because life is not a race but a process, failure is only another opportunity to keep growing.

On the 18 May 2009, a few weeks before my 48th birthday, I was driving off from an intersection when my car was violently hit by an oncoming car. My car folded in two and I was thrown into the passenger seat, my body trapped and crushed by the steering wheel. I was pronounced dead by the paramedics. But I was not to die that day.

Paramedics were eventually able to transport me to hospital where the extent of my injuries were confirmed. My pelvis was fractured in four places on the right side with a large fracture near the sacrum. The sacroiliac joint on the left had detached from the pelvic bone. I had a deep jagged cut on the right side of my face from the cheek to my ear. By late afternoon I was still not responding. The orthopaedic surgeon scheduled a CAT scan and called in a specialist surgeon. Broken ribs had punctured my right lung which had completely collapsed and was filled with blood and fluid. The scan confirmed I had severe pulmonary bleeding and I was rushed into theatre for emergency surgery at 2am. The surgeon told my family to prepare themselves as he wasn’t hopeful I would make it through the night. Three days in ICU were touch-and-go, and during this time I experienced physical pain and trauma like never before. I suffered excruciating pain when my body moved in opposite directions as they tried to support me on the radiographer’s table every second day. I heard bloodcurdling screams coming from somewhere, unaware they were mine. Despite morphine shots for pain I lay awake because sleep, was simply an impossibility. I felt betrayed by my body and in three days the pain had abated only slightly. Three weeks later I lay soaked in sweat from a high fever and a persistent migraine that made me wish I had died.

There was a part of me that benefitted from the ‘unscheduled vacation’. It was the part that needed to slow down and regain strength. Perhaps it was God’s way of forcing me to be still. But there were other parts that were crying out, impatient and restless, ravaged by intense pain. Life became still and time grew long, day rolling into night, night rolling into day, and my will to keep fighting was growing weaker. I lay flat on my back in constant pain unable to move, staring at the white walls or the panelled ceiling pondering what could be God’s plan. What did He want me to know? And I kept asking ‘why?’ Why did this happen to me? I never slept – I passed in and out of consciousness and even with repeated doses of strong drugs I was never pain free. Morphine was replaced by pethidine, and by the time I was moved to a private ward, psychologically, I cracked.

My head was filled with all the ‘what ifs?’ Reality in the aftermath of the accident had finally hit me. But everyone kept reminding me that it was a ‘miracle’ I had survived such a crash. As the days passed I forced myself to search for positive reinforcement. Although self-pity still consumed me on most days, I always came back to one thought – God had chosen to keep me alive. I tried not to forget that.

My stay in hospital taught me to accept help with grace. It also helped me to understand that other people needed a sense of purpose too. And that I needed to allow others the opportunity to strengthen me. My accident became a blessing as much as a learning curve. With acceptance I realised a simple truth: most ordinary things can be made extraordinary.

Twelve members of the hospital staff had a copy of my first book, ‘Doing It My Way’ which they found invaluable. Seeing how my life experiences was impacting on theirs gave me reason to push forward and not wallow in self-pity or despair. My accident showed me that more than enough hope, courage and comfort can be found if we trust and believe that nothing is coincidental. Everything has a purpose whether we see it or not.

After the 35 days in hospital, six months of intensive rehab therapy followed and it took me another nine months before I could walk without crutches. I had one leg shorter than the other, the sacroiliac joint would never regenerate but I learned to compensate for the physical differences and refused to allow any of it to deter me from getting my life back.

When the surgeon told me I would never be the same again and that I would have pain for the rest of my life, I thanked him. He said I would walk, and that swimming would be the best exercise given his diagnosis. For a high-stepping, dancing cowgirl used to enjoying the outdoors – the news was like a death sentence but when I left his rooms for the last time I resolved to prove him wrong on all accounts. The permanent scar across my cheek served to remind me of that almost fateful day. Pain became a friend, my constant companion. But also my validation that I am stronger than what happened to me. I wear my scars instead of letting them wear me. I survived and I’ve found the strength to rise above challenges, to live beyond expectations, and to live my best life being thankful and grateful for every passing moment.

In November 2018, I left South Africa, my home for the last 54 years, to live and work in the UK to start a new life with better prospects and hopefully an opportunity for greater things. There are no short cuts in life. The road has been steep and hard with my fair share of challenges but as a cowgirl I’ve handled the rough patches, rolled with the punches and developed ball breaking tenacity to overcome resistance to change, fear, apathy and self-imposed limitations. To have passion for what you do in its fullest sense implies embracing life as it is, with all its glory but also darkness and pain. But when you ‘live’ life with passion and try to experience life with imagination, you will find a spirit of unity and beauty in everything you do.

Cowgirls taught me that COURAGE IS NOT SOMETHING WE’RE BORN WITH.
It is something we must find in every decision we make throughout our lives. It is this courage, together with commitment, passion and dedication that define a special attitude, a mental firmness, a quality and strength that is “spirit” – that is COWGIRL!